Last Modified on February 10, 2011
Hello Mom's of Barbara's Book Club!
Darn, how I wish I could be there. As you're meeting, I'm stuck somewhere on an LA freeway. I met Barbara sometime ago at a counselor conference. Wow, are you in good hands on this topic. She's brilliant!
I wrote Nobody Likes Me because I had so many requests from parents about how to help their children learn friendship-making skills. "My child doesn't have friends. How can I help?" "He's being bullied. How do I help him stand up for himself?" "She's such a great kid but just needs to know a few skills to get along. The girls are so mean these days!"
I started jotting down their concerns (too shy, sensitive, bullied, argumentative, bossy, etc) and had myself the 25 chapters for the book. The key is that friendship making and social skills are learned. That means moms such as yourself can help your children learn those skills. Last week a new study came out that validates the urgency of doing so: our children's friendships (the right kind) can ward off depression and be a resilience builder.
Last week I did a segment on the TODAY show about how digital media is impacting our children's friendship making skills. The average child (I know, not yours... but ...) spends 7 1/2 hours a day !!! plugged into media. You don't learn empathy, compassion, communication, emotional intelligence, and friendship-making skills facing a screen!
So, all the best to you! Have fun tonight. I'll try to give you a call if I'm off the freeway (otherwise I'll end up on the front page of the LA Times caught on a cellphone). My best advice: choose just one skill at a time...the skill that is the one your child needs most right now. And then commit to finding simple, fun ways to boost it in your everyday moments with your child. Remember, new habits take a minimum of 21 days of repetition -- so hang in there!
All the best and cheers!
(If you're on twitter I'm @MicheleBorba . I LOVE twitter. It's only 140 characters to worry about. My blog iswww.micheleborba.com and I usually post once a day. Now go hug Barbara for me).